Finding Strength: A Club Dark Novel Read online

  “I don’t think I can do this,” I say out loud, forgetting I’m not alone.

  “You can, because Lacey is counting on you.” Amber speaks up so bluntly that I’m taken aback for a moment. Part of me is envious of how strong of a woman she is at moments like this.

  I hold her gaze for a beat longer before grabbing my bearings and heading up the stairs to the loneliness I once craved, but now dread more than anything. I never realized just how empty this house was. How empty I was until she came into my life, my house, and made it feel like a home. Like somewhere I would rather be, instead of just a place to sleep and store my belongings.

  Wasting no time, I head straight up the stairs, not even wanting to cross paths with Al, I make a beeline straight for my room.

  Big mistake that was. The moment I walk through the door, it’s like my senses are on overload. I’m immediately hit with the scent lavender and vanilla, throwing me back in time to the meadow where we shared our first moment.

  Memories of time spent in this very room threaten to take me over. But Amber is right. I need to get my head on straight if I’m going to be of any use to Lacey.

  Straightening my back, I head straight for the shower, turn it on as hot as I can stand it, strip down, and step in.

  Quickly, I feel the rage start to build as flashbacks of my time with Lacey play in my head like a song stuck on repeat. I never imagined I’d ever find love again after everything that happened with Lanna. Not because I don’t have the ability. But because I was afraid of hurting anyone else.

  I had thrown myself into my work. But the moment Lacey walked into my club I felt a pull, almost magnetic and completely unavoidable, take me over. I kept telling myself that I’d get to the bottom of who drugged her, and then send her on her way. Yet, somewhere along the way, I fell for her and look where that’s gotten her. Just what I feared would happen.

  No one is safe with me.

  With that thought, I feel my chest growing tighter, followed by the unfamiliar sting of tears forming behind my eyes.

  As everything starts to crash down around me, I feel a growl starting to form in my chest. My knees hit the hard floor as it tears up my throat. Bringing my fists down hard on the tiled floor, I throw my head back and let it all out.

  The tears are flowing down my face now, mixing in with the water from the shower.

  How did I let this happen? Why couldn’t I protect her? After everything she has been through, can’t she catch a break?

  I vow to myself that I will stop at nothing to get my woman back and show her how a real man should treat her. I let out one more loud growl before taking a deep breath and begin to pull myself together, rising to my feet.

  I’m not an emotional man, I’ve cried maybe twice since I was a child. Lacey doesn’t need my tears, that’s not what’s going to save her.

  Grabbing a towel off the rack, I wrap it around my waist and make my way back into the room. It’s no surprise that Amber’s sitting on the couch when I walk into my bedroom, that girl has no boundaries. She doesn’t give me time to acknowledge her before she starts talking.

  “I’m so sorry, Cory. I just wanted to check on you, I heard a loud scream from all the way downstairs and I was worried that something happened.” She gives me a pointed stare, as if to say don’t bullshit me. “Are you alright?”

  Shaking off the frustration that is Amber and her concern, I grab a pair of gym shorts and boxers, and head back to the bathroom to get dressed.

  She’s still sitting there, with an expectant look on her face, when I come back out.

  “Yes, Amber. I’m fine.” Hoping that’ll pacify her for now, I gesture to the door. The old feeling of wanting to be alone, rears its dirty little head and I know I need to listen to it. Amber doesn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of my anger and I’m afraid if she stays where she is right now that’s exactly what’s going to happen.

  But dammit, the look of hurt on her face sends a sharp pain straight through my chest. Since when do I care about anyone else’s feelings?

  I’m going to regret this I’m sure of it. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll meet you downstairs, I’ll see if Al has plans for dinner,” I offer, and I’m relieved when I see the disappointment turn into a warm smile. That girl better get out of here before I change my mind.

  Wise one that she is, she walks away without another word.

  Glancing back at the bed briefly, I allow myself a few minutes to remember what it felt like to wake up beside the woman I love every morning. Lacey cemented herself into my heart quickly, and it’s tearing me apart just sitting here and doing nothing. I think it’s time I give Alex a call, surely, he’s made some progress by now.

  His phone barely gets through a single ring before he picks up, “Alex here,” he answers.

  “Hey man, how’s the search going?”

  “I was just getting ready to call you with an update, actually. Our guy was able to get some plates on him at a local gas station, not long after he abducted Lacey. It was a nice break in the case, because we were able to use the surveillance to track him through traffic stops and cameras placed throughout the city.” Okay, I like where this is going.

  “Okay, so you’ve found her then? Just give me the address and I’ll be headed that way.” I feel the adrenaline start to build up, excitement that this will all be coming to an end very soon. That is, until Alex had to burst my bubble.

  “Whoa, slow down a little, man. We tracked them through surveillance for about thirty miles before we last see him enter through a parking garage, but he doesn’t exit. At least, not with his car. We searched the entire garage. His car is there, but no sign of him or Lacey. We did find a back exit that takes you into an alley, and guess what…” he pauses for dramatics, I’m sure, “there are no cameras inside the deck or down the alley. Either Aaron is smart and just covering all bases, or he knew we’d eventually track him and he ditched his car.”

  “Son of a bitch. Tell me you guys at least have a backup plan Alex.”

  “We are working on it, Boss. I want Lacey back safely myself, I promise I will make that happen,” he says and ends our phone call.

  I have a very short fuse on my anger right now and it’s taking everything in me not to explode all over again. So, I do something even dumber and head downstairs to Amber, hoping to at least get my mind in a better place. As of right now, I’m unstable, so maybe being around her isn’t such a brilliant idea. But before I can change my mind, she pops up in the foyer as I make it to the bottom of the stairs. The smile on her face chips away at some of the ice and rage that's been encased in my heart.

  But Amber should know me better by now, and in the end, I’d probably just end up hurting one of the two loyal people in my life right now. I should give her the boot before she’s another one affected by my screwed-up life. But of course I won’t. I can’t.

  I’m standing over by the antique whiskey cart, I’ve found it hard to part with, pouring myself two fingers worth of scotch as Amber makes herself comfortable on the couch.

  To say I’m dreading the inevitable conversation I’m sure she wants to have, is an understatement. Not because I don’t like Amber, I’ve grown quite fond of her over the years.

  She showed up at my doorstep when my club was just a bar, looking for a job. Everything about her screamed trouble. Every fiber of my being was begging me to turn her away. But there was a tiny voice in the back of my mind that whispered for me to give her a chance.

  I watched as she morphed from a troubled teenager to a tough, young adult. I have yet to crack the shell behind her tough girl exterior; from what I know of her, I know she was raised in a happy, loving home. But the girl is tough as nails. And I mean the kind of tough you only learn from roughing it on the streets.

  But either way, she helped me morph my club into what it is today. Indulging her in small talk for a few minutes should be an easy feat.

  Angling myself to slightly face her, I raise my glass as a ges
ture, or offering if you may, but she quickly shakes her head, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth, letting me know she has something on her mind.

  “Just spill it already, Amber,” I say, feeling tired and weary all at once.

  She gives me a look as if to say she’s scared to say anything, but then true to Amber, she straightens her shoulders, spins, and speaks exactly what’s on her mind.

  “I’m worried about you, Cory,” she states firmly. “In case you’ve forgotten, I was there a few years ago when you spiraled, I notice the patterns. I don’t want that for you...” She trails off.

  Honestly, I don’t know how to respond to that. I got word a few years ago, that they were moving Lanna to a new facility and her mom wouldn’t tell me where she was going. I had just started to get my life back on track, and even though her family wouldn’t let me see her, I was still paying all her medical bills.

  So, when the returned check came that month, and I was told she had been moved, and I had no authorization on where she was located, I flipped.

  Amber just so happened to be at the club that night. I trashed the bar to the point where we had to hire a contractor to come in and completely rebuild the entire thing. But since then, something about Amber has changed.

  I guess she’s just seen me in a different light. Part of me feels bad about it, but then again, she’s my employee, and I don’t make friends with my employees. Alex is the exception.

  “I’m okay, Amber. At least now I am. I’m sorry about what you walked in on tonight.” And because I’m trying to turn a new leaf here, I add, “Thank you, Amber.” I look her dead in the eyes, making sure I have her attention so she knows I’m serious.

  “Had you not shown up tonight, there’s no telling where my head or the club would be at right now. But you helped me to see the bigger picture, and that I’m no good to Lacey if I can’t keep my head on straight. So, thank you.” Ugh, enough of all this sappy stuff. Glancing over her way again, I see a look of shock and the unshed tears pooling beneath her eyes. She makes quick work of wiping them away.

  Laughing to myself, I have just the thing to lighten things up around here.

  “So, when are you and Alex finally going to get out of your own heads and hook up?”

  Perfect timing on my end as she spews her glass of wine I hadn’t even noticed she was nursing, all over herself.

  “Excuse me?” She manages.

  “Don’t act like I haven’t noticed all the flirting, and secret eyes you guys give each other. I’m actually a little offended that you guys even thought you were fooling me.”

  “I have no idea what you are talking about, Cory,” she says, but avoids any eye contact.

  “Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” I say with a smirk.

  Before she has the chance to come back with what is sure to be a witty retort, I feel the buzz from my phone vibrating in my pocket.

  Still smiling as I slip my phone out, I hold it up to get a look at the caller ID. Instantly, my entire body locks up and the smile fades away.

  I glance over at Amber, who’s now wearing a look of concern. I’m not entirely sure, but seeing my mother’s number light up across the screen has a surge of panic coursing through my veins.

  With everything going on, I completely forgot all about my brother’s graduation coming up. Surly, they are going to want to stay here.

  “Aren’t you going to answer that?” Amber asks, startling me out of my thoughts.

  Before I have the chance to make up my mind about answering, the call ends. But without failing, it’s back to ringing not thirty seconds later.

  Not even knowing what to say to her, I huff out a breath then answer the phone.

  “Hello, mother.” I manage to at least sound normal.

  “Cory!” She wails into the phone, “How’ve you been, baby?” Mom has always liked her little terms of endearment. I’ve long since given up on telling her I’m too old to be called baby.

  “Everything’s okay, mom.” I lie. No need to drag her into this shit storm. “How are you and Dad?”

  “We are wonderful son, but don’t think I don’t know when you are lying to me. Now, what’s going on?”

  “Nothing, honestly, mom…”

  “Cory Austin Lewis, do not make me come over there. Spill it, son.” She’s fuckin serious, we both know where I get my anger from. Mom can be a fireball sometimes. What do I even say to her, though? No way will she understand what’s going on here. She and dad have been in their own little world for some time now.

  Feeling her eyes on me, I glance back over at Amber. There’s something in her eyes drawing me in, offering me strength and comfort.

  Pulling in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, I begin the explanation of how I came to love a stranger, and why now, I feel like my whole world is falling apart.

  My mom listens to it all, without interrupting. Once I’ve finished, the line grows quiet. I only know she’s still there from the sound of her breaths, faintly going in and out over the phone.

  “Say something.” I try to encourage her.

  “Why haven’t you called me before now, son?” I can hear anger in her voice now, which only solidifies the reasons for not bringing them into all of this in the first place.

  “I didn’t want to bother you with this, mother. It’s my battle, besides, I remember what everyone went through with Lanna.”

  “What happened to Lanna was a tragedy, but this is not that. From the sounds of it, you barely even know this woman. Why don’t you just call the authorities and let them do their jobs?” Some things will never change.

  “Absolutely not. We are handling this.”

  “And by we you mean?” Her tone just gets angrier by the minute.

  “Just means I have it under control.” I hope, anyway. Never have I ever doubted myself or my team this much.

  “So help me God, young man, if you do anything to…” I can’t let her continue. I know exactly what I’m getting myself into, and what can happen in the end. But she doesn’t need to know that.

  “Everything’s going to be fine, mom. You don’t need to worry. I assume you had a reason for calling, what’s going on?” I need to get to the bottom of why she called, it’s rare to hear from them now days, unless it’s a birthday or holiday.

  “While I know you are still lying to me, yes, I did call you for a reason. You are aware your brother graduation is in a few weeks, right?”

  I kind of forgot. I remember Lacey and I talking about it, but recent events have overshadowed everything else.

  “I may have forgotten, mom; I have a lot going on.”

  “I know you do, baby. Your father and I are in town for a few weeks. We thought it would be nice to check in, see how you were doing. We’ve missed you guys,” she finishes, sounding a little sad there at the end. This would be the only part I don’t feel sorry for her about. They are the ones who decided to up and travel the world. Don’t get me wrong, I can take care of myself, but I was in a very vulnerable state. And Lance? Well he was still in school when they left. The responsibility to care for him should not have fallen on our sister.

  “Maybe we can go out for dinner sometime this week?” I suggest, hoping they don’t want to come here, though I should’ve known better.

  “How about we come by tomorrow evening? You can give your butler the night off, I’ll cook. Your dad really wants to see the house.”

  “Whatever you want, mother.” And I mean that.

  “I’ll let your father know. We’ll see you tomorrow Cory, I love you, baby.”

  “I love you too, mom.”

  We hang up, and I’m not sure how I feel about having to host guests right now, even if the guests are my parents.

  “Are you okay?”

  I’m startled, once again, by Amber. I forgot she was here, so immersed in my phone call with my mother.

  “Yea, just get to cater to my parent’s tomorrow. Piece of cake.” I can’t help the bite that comes out with my w
ords. I know none of this is Amber’s fault. She just happens to be here right now. I should work on getting her out of here.

  “Oh Cory, what are you going to do?” I don’t know, is what I want to say, but again, this is my battle, and I’ll figure it out. Somehow.

  “What I always do. I’ll play host for a little while, and then they’ll be on their way.”

  “I take it they don’t visit very often, then?”

  “Not really, at least not with me. Lance was just barely a teenager when they set off. I had my opinions about it, which caused some problems between us. I felt like Lance was too young, and it wasn’t right for them to just dump him off on my sister, Ansley. I also feel like they left because they couldn’t handle the situation between Lanna and I anymore.” I needed them though, and they just left.

  She stands there for a few minutes, looking as if she’s lost in thought. I already know I’m not going to like what she says before she even opens her mouth to speak.

  “I’d like to be here for you, when your parents show up. I don’t typically do the parent thing, hell, I don’t even speak to my own parents, except maybe four times a year. But you need someone here that knows what you are going through. And before you even say anything, I’m not taking no for an answer.” She crosses her arms over her chest, taps her foot against the floor, and gives me a look that says she’s not backing down. I swear I’m surrounded by stubborn, demanding women.

  “Amber, you should really go home.” I don’t miss the moment of sadness that flashes across her face. “I’m not stable right now, you’ve seen that. Having my parents here, there’s no telling how it can go. They can be as unpredictable as I am, and I really don’t want to see you get caught up in all of that.” I’ve started to care for this girl the way I do my own siblings. The need to keep her away from the bad parts of my life is strong.

  “I can take care of myself, thank you. And I’m not leaving you. So, for now Mr. Lewis, you’re just going to have to get used to me.” When did this girl grow such a backbone? I’ve always known it was there. But she’s never used it with me. I’m so taken by surprise, that I don’t even have a response for her.